Sitting Sadly By Your Side

I first heard the song, “I Cannot Sit Sadly By Your Side,” by the Cowboy Junkies while I was listening to a story on NPR.  The group was being interviewed about a trip they took to China where they first heard this song and decided to create a version in English for their own album.

This song just hit me.  To me, it was the epitome of the struggles of Depression.  The lyrics not only embody the pain of the afflicted, but also of his/her loved one who is attempting to help them.  The sufferer no longer wants to “sit sadly by [his/her] side” and the other is slowly sinking into the dark sadness, while trying to help.

Depression is a battle and something that, unfortunately, the perfect “cure” has yet to be discovered.  I admire those who struggle daily with Depression and commend the friends and family who stay to help.

I have always felt that I best express myself through movement.  Movement seems to capture deeper emotions, hidden motives, and has universality to its message.

I decided that “some day” I would like to choreograph a piece that is a tribute to those affected by Depression and their loved ones set to the song, “I Cannot Sit Sadly By Your Side.”

This piece came to fruition after the creation of Stretch Dance Company.  Before we actually start to create performances, I wanted to have video examples that would embody the important elements of Stretch Dance Company: the caliber of performers and designers and the importance of the subject matter presented.  I decided that this was the right time to create the piece, Sitting Sadly By Your Side.

I finalized the piece concept and sought out dancers.  I actually found Chelsea and David while watching a performance at Chapman University.  (Just a side note, I truly recommend the dance program at Chapman University.)   I contacted them, hired them, and off we went.

We met, discussed the concept, had a few rehearsals, and filmed the piece at Simple Studio Lighting in Anaheim, CA.  The piece is now edited (link below).

I wanted to take this opportunity to dive into the details of the story concept to further understanding.

The most productive and meaningful way I choreograph is to start with a story.  The story and characters in the story are the most important portion of any piece that I choreograph.

Here is the story of Sitting Sadly By Your Side: (Please note, the following story might be too emotional or graphic for some.)

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A young, newly married couple has been having trouble connecting.  He has always been the “tortured artist,” but has hid from her just how tortured he actually is.  Since they are now living together, he has trouble hiding these issues.  She loves him unconditionally and tries to help him the best way she knows how.  She encourages him, loves him, and patiently waits for him. 

He sees that his state of mind is not only destroying him, but is destroying the woman he loves so deeply.  He doesn’t know how to escape and seems to be slipping deeper and deeper.  He decides in order to save her, he must no longer be a part of her life.  He decides to end his life while she is at work.  He chooses to end his life by suffocation in their garage because it can be controlled and will cause him the least bodily harm, which is important, as he knows she will be the one who finds him.

She leaves for work and he sets out to see his plan through.  By some act of God, she comes home as she has forgotten something or had a “bad feeling.”  She finds him, rescues him, and takes him to a hospital where he is revitalized and saved, at least physically.

They return home and he leaves to be alone in their room.  This is the moment the dance piece begins.

She cautiously enters the room to attempt to console him.  She is willing to do whatever is necessary to help him.  He sees this and although he wishes to seek her comfort, he pushes her away hoping to force her to leave him. 

She is wrought with emotion and is caught in a flurry of pain, anger, concern, and fear.  No matter what he does to her, she keeps trying.  She believes they can get through this together.

She is exhausted, but still by his side.  Although he wants to push her away to save her from his pain, he sees that she has chosen to be with him and will be there no matter what.  He then turns to her for comfort allowing her to try to help him. 

In the end, they have each other.

Photography by Sara Ellison Photography

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Although this piece is about pain and suffering, in the end, it is about hope and faith.  I am not suggesting a solution or remedy with this piece, but offer my appreciation to loving families and anyone who is suffering.

 

This story was very difficult to portray emotionally.  I feel so lucky to have been able to work with dancers and designers who had a mature and intellectual approach to this piece.  I hope you take time to watch the piece and thank you for reading.  Click here to watch.

The Rich Man's Frug

To say that Bob Fosse is my "choreographer idol" is a bit of an understatement.

I was first introduced to Mr. Fosse when my high school did a production of Sweet Charity.  From the first moment of belting behind that bar in “Big Spender” with my arm oddly wrapped around my back, I was hooked.  I even received a fabulous biography of Fosse as a wedding gift from one of my students.  I think that says it all.

I highly recommend this biography.  It is wonderfully written!

The main attribute of Fosse that inspires me the most is that he was able to take his perceived imperfections and shortcomings and turn them into his own dance style that is instantly recognizable: the turned out arms, turned in legs, question mark posture, hat... “yeah” ‘cue jazz hands.’  I will say for the record, that although Fosse did not think much of his dancing, I respectfully disagree, see video. 

While watching our production of Anything Goes, the drama director for the Trabuco Hills High School drama department and I started brainstorming about “next year.”  Somehow we landed on a “Fosse show,” which is no mystery as we are both fans.  We continued to brainstorm and came to Sweet Charity as it had the right amount of cast members, great music, didn’t center on murder (not appropriate for a high school production…Chicago), and was a show we both loved. 

As we continued to brainstorm, we decided to have the choreography be as close to the original choreography as possible.  I was in heaven!  I don’t remember if I thought for awhile, if at all, that I was going to be attempting to recreate professional choreography on high school students, who, on average, had little to no dance experience.  The original choreography needed to be done and that was that. 

"The Rich Man’s Frug” was the ultimate challenge.  A 6 minute, extremely complicated, intricate dance with 22 dancers.  We tackled that dance head on from the hair twirls, tuxedoes, high heels, and even the cigarettes (which weren’t real as we reassured the audience at the beginning of every performance). 

I owe the success to those dancers.  I sat them down before we began rehearsals and showed them a video from the film, Sweet Charity.  I told them that we would be attempting to recreate the dance without changing anything except for perhaps some formations as we were performing on stage rather than for film.  I’ll never forget the dancer’s face who was to play the “lady in the white gloves.”  “That is supposed to be me?” she asked timidly.  “Yep!”   “Oh no…(long pause) OK!”

I told the dancers it was going to be a long, difficult process, but if they were on board, I had all the faith in the world that they could do it.  We all determined together then and there that "The Rich Man’s Frug” would be done the right way. 

Our rehearsals were very structured and aimed at giving students the best understanding of the day’s goals as possible.  I had diagrams and choreography printed out for each dancer.  To give you an idea of what I mean, I have included some pictures of my crude, but effective illustrations from the section of the dance entitled the "Aloof".  ("The Rich Man's Frug" consisted of three sections: the "Aloof," the "Heavyweight," and the "Big Finish.")  

The opening formation in the "Aloof"  

(Fun Fact: A colored in, stick-figure head means they are looking away from the audience.)

A formation also from the "Aloof"

For a little background information:  Musical rehearsals at THHS lasted from about 3pm-5pm every weekday.  I was usually there 3 days a week.  Each dance, that was about 3 minutes long, would take between two to three rehearsals to teach.  These standard parameters were not the case for Sweet Charity.

For “The Rich Man’s Frug” alone, we spent 36 hours learning and perfecting.  (This does not include my time choreographing and learning the dance myself.)  I have never seen so much dedication, hard work, and determination.  This required our rehearsals to be every day, often lasting until 6pm...or longer.  By the end, these students knew this dance so well that they would inform instrumentalists playing in the pit if he/she forgot to do something or made a mistake.  To this day I’m sure they can still hum "The Rich Man’s Frug” as I catch myself and my husband humming it from time to time.    

The success and importance of the production was paramount to me and was the same for those students.  They became professionals, always on time, warmed up, practiced, and in the correct attire.  Did I mention I was in heaven?  I think I already did.  Even the director would move his blocking rehearsals to accommodate these rehearsals. 

The result was worth the extra time and effort and I feel truly blessed to have been a part of that production.  Did I mention that I also split the responsibility of vocal director with the conductor and was planning my wedding all at the same time?!  That was a good year!

To view the final product of "The Rich Man’s Frug,” check out the video!

Finding Stretch Dance Company (Part 3)

Then, along came a life-changing suggestion from one of my closest friends.

“Read Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit,” my friend Judy suggested.  Although Twyla Tharp is one of the most celebrated, present choreographers, this book chronicles how to be at your best for working creatively in any occupation.  I highly recommend it! One element Ms. Tharp explained was in order to be productive, one must remove distractions from one’s workspace.  Inspired, I cleaned house. 

In organizing my things and moving them from my husband and my communal bookcase to my “dance/theatre only” bookcase, I came upon one of the most important pieces of literature to me that had nothing to do with dance.  As I held it in my hands, a performance began to unfold.  The dancers in my head filled the stage to create what I knew audiences had to see.  As the dancers were dancing, the company began to form in my mind.

I immediately put that treasured piece of literature on my “dance/theatre only” bookcase (on the top shelf)  and started to create the company.  I combined all of my training and experiences I had in order to form the company I knew had to be created.  I wanted a place where professional artists feel safe, cultivated, appreciated, and proud of the art they are creating.  I also wanted to create performances that audiences are not only entertained by, but are enlightened or moved in a way to promote a humanitarian cause.  Finally, I wanted to incorporate more theatre into dance performances by having characters, set pieces, costumes, plot, and specifically, composed music.  It is through this theatrical concept that I would be able to utilize all styles of dance as they will change per character and/or time period.  Thus, the mission statement was created:

“… to create a safe working environment for professional artists and to educate and entertain the community about art, humanity, culture, and history through presenting theatrical dance productions based on an emotional and realistic portrayal of the human experience.”

What to call such a company?  I looked at the statement again and saw this:

“… to create a Safe working environment for professional artists and to Educate and Entertain the Community about art, humanity, culture, and history through presenting Theatrical dance productions based on an Emotional and Realistic portrayal of the Human experience.”

I played around with the letters of important words found in the mission statement and came to the word STRETCH. 

Logo design by the brilliant Jessa Orr

I love the word STRETCH. 

It implies so much.  The artists and the audiences will be pulled and tested in new ways to attain high goals and understanding. 

I presented all of this to Christopher (my husband) who, with love, told me to follow my dreams, something I am eternally grateful for.  Ever since this epiphany in April 2010, I have been working to ensure the company’s success by creating a realistic business and production plan.  Hopefully soon we will be able to announce our first production, job openings, auditions, etc.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned for company updates and other, hopefully interesting, musings on the world of Stretch Dance Company. 

What was the brilliant piece of literature you ask?  I will save that for another time…

“Like” Stretch Dance Company’s Facebook Page to stay informed!

Finding Stretch Dance Company (Part 2)

It was during my first year of college that I began to choreograph and teach dance professionally.  I was hired to choreograph The Wiz and I also began the dance training program S.T.R. Dance®.  

S.T.R. Dance® was created to provide those with an interest in taking dance a private/semi-private learning experience where they could truly focus on their individual goals.  There was no limit on age of dancer, but my main clients became high school and college-aged performers looking for a career in performance, either theatre or dance.  Today, many of them are in performance programs in college or have gone on to the professional entertainment industry.  I am always so proud!!

Both of those experiences I owe to the brilliant suggestion of my mother and encouragement from my father.  I am extremely blessed to have parents who wanted me to dream. 

The Wiz was such a wonderful, intimidating experience.  To choreograph a full-length musical was an absolute dream.  On top of choreographing, because of my background, I was able to assist with auditions, vocals, and technical aspects of the performances.  I learned many lessons from that first musical.

Since then, I have had the pleasure of choreographing numerous musicals including: Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Scrooge, Anything Goes, Sweet Charity, Footloose, Little Shop of Horrors, and Once Upon a Mattress.  There are so many wonderful stories to tell…for another time.

While at UCI, I was fortunate enough to meet my husband, Christopher.  Although, on paper, we are opposite sides of the brain, him an engineer and I an artist, we fit together like the perfect puzzle.  He added to my life in a way I never dreamed and I am truly grateful.  Christopher and I married a month after we both graduated from UCI.  It was a busy senior year! 

I truly enjoyed teaching at S.T.R. Dance® and it seemed that teaching was where I was headed. So, after I graduated with a bachelor degree in drama with an emphasis in dance and a minor in psychology, I enrolled in UCI’s teaching credential, graduate program and attained my credentials in English, drama, psychology, and dance.  Yes, English, which as you read in "Part 1", was not on my list of favorite subjects in school.   

Teaching English was such a wonderful, eye-opening experience and deserves its own blog entry...later.

I love teaching.  I truly do.  To be able to cultivate someone and help him or her to reach his/her goals is a feeling unlike any other.  Although I enjoyed teaching high school English and dance at S.T.R. Dance® I did not feel that I was quite in the right place. 

I knew that dance, theatre, and teaching were my true passions and I decided to explore the more professional realm of dance to see what was out there.  It was during this time that I was able to study at wonderful institutions such as Edge Performing Arts Center, Millenium Dance Complex, The Ailey School, Broadway Dance Center, Joffrey Ballet School, Steps on Broadway, numerous dance conventions, among others.  I auditioned for on and off Broadway, but still did not feel that I was in the right place.  The teaching element for me was not there and it was here I was able to see how professional performers are often over-worked, under-paid, and under-appreciated.

What to do?!  

Finding Stretch Dance Company (Part 1)

Stretch Dance Company has always been there, I just had to find it. 

Its legitimate development began April 2010, but now that I look back on my life, I realize that everything up until this point has been a part of its development.

My interests and activities have always been the same: performing arts, fine art, and teaching.  Some of my earliest memories are dancing with the frizzed out hair, too much blush, and sequins (especially for a four-year-old), theatre performances (including a very memorable appearance as a lamb in our preschool rendition of the birth of Jesus, and “playing school,” which, unfortunately for my parents, meant doing all of the stuffed animals’ homework I assigned to them, while I supervised and drank my “coffee,” which of course was milk...I still try to avoid coffee. 

Fast-forward a few years to my first memory of choreographing at the age of 8.  I had created a few dances and asked my parents to watch.  There were forms for them to fill out to judge and critique my work.  Two of which I distinctly remember were to Queen’s “We Are the Champions” (Click to hear this song) and Tag Team’s “Whoomp! (There It Is).”  (Click to hear this song)  Some of the choreography still remains in my head, but only a select few will ever see it…)  From there, I took off.

In high school, I started dancing privately with a woman named Melissa Barnett.  I owe so much to her and to my generous and encouraging parents who not only had to fund these excursions, but transport me to and from rehearsals and classes.  Melissa not only was able to teach me dance in a way that allowed me to be successful and accomplish my goals, but her method of teaching was refreshing and inspiring.  Her encouragement, high-expectations, preparation, fun choreography, and positive attitude are what shaped me into the teacher I am today.  She put me on my first pair of pointe shoes, which, like any dancer, I still have.

Throughout high school I continued with my study of theatre (performance and technical), singing, fine art, piano, and video production.  There were of course other subjects, I was particularly fond of math and history, but art was my life.      

When it came time for college, it was so difficult to choose what to do.  I loved (and still love) everything!!  I did not want to be limited in my studies.  I did the theatrical auditions for performance schools (in hotels in Los Angeles along with thousands of other hopefuls).  I also visited some of these schools.  For some reason, none of them appealed to me.  Finally, I visited the University of California, Irvine and loved it!  I knew that there I would be able to study everything I had an interest in while in a positive, productive environment.

Those four years passed by very quickly, but in those four years I started to solidify who I was to become...